I’ve noticed something over the years. People who succeed tend to ask for advice. Those who don’t either wait too long—or never ask at all.
In law school, I asked upperclassmen what worked for them: how they approached Professor X’s final, what outline structure helped for Professor Y, how they prepped for cold calls without burning out. I didn’t assume I’d figure it out alone. And that’s the pattern I’ve seen again and again—not just in my own life, but across admissions, entrepreneurship, and real-world performance:
People who ask—the right questions, to the right people—move faster, avoid landmines, and build real advantage.
People who don’t? They stall. They struggle longer than necessary. Sometimes they never quite recover.
This isn’t just about humility or vulnerability. It’s about leverage. And science backs it up.
Asking Is a Power Move—Psychologically and Strategically
A Harvard study by Brooks et al. (2015) found something counterintuitive: asking for advice doesn’t make you look incompetent—it makes you look more competent. It signals self-awareness and trust in others’ expertise.
Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset reveals that people who believe they can improve tend to seek input and guidance far more often—and they’re more likely to improve as a result.
In entrepreneurship, founders with mentors are over three times more likely to increase revenue, according to the nonprofit SCORE. And even outside formal mentorship, the ability to extract the right insight from the right source is a skill that compounds over time.
Law School: The First Real Test
I wasn’t the smartest guy in the room at NYU Law (I was the second smartest). But I knew how to find the people who had been in my shoes the year before and learn how they got through it. I didn’t blindly copy their methods. I filtered. I adjusted. I iterated. But I never started from zero.
I noticed early on that some classmates treated law school like a solitary pursuit. They’d go deep into the library, read everything alone, refuse to ask questions out loud. And many of them didn’t do particularly well. Not because they weren’t smart, but because they treated help-seeking like cheating. Or weakness. It’s not.
Strategic help-seeking is how you build smarter systems faster.
Law School Admissions: Doomscrolling TikTok Isn’t Advice
I see this every admissions cycle. The people who wait too long to ask for help—who try to write a personal statement by stitching together TikTok clips or asking their friend who applied ten years ago—end up spinning their wheels.
The best applicants don’t just get help. They choose wisely. They ask people who:
- Have succeeded more than once
- Can explain why something works (not just what they did)
- Understand how to tailor advice based on the person, not just the problem
It’s not just about information. It’s about insight.
Who You Ask Matters
Not everyone is worth asking.
Don’t confuse failure with expertise. The person who failed the bar exam three times and then finally succeeded might have something useful to say—but their approach might not be ideal for someone looking to pass on their first try.
And don’t assume that someone who succeeded once necessarily understands why they succeeded. Instead, seek out people who have helped others succeed. Who’ve seen multiple versions of the path. Who aren’t just good at what they do—but good at explaining it.
In short: Don’t just chase results. Chase clarity.
Learn to Filter Advice
There’s no shortage of input out there. The skill is in knowing what applies to you.
That takes:
- Self-awareness
- Understanding your goals, strengths, and limitations
- Being able to test advice against your context
In LSAT prep, for example, what worked for a visual learner who had 6 months off work might not work for a working parent with ADHD and only 8 weeks. Same goes for starting a business, applying to jobs, or picking a law school.
Blindly following advice is no better than ignoring it. The skill is in triage.
Ask Better
Don’t just ask, “What should I do?” Ask, “Here’s what I’ve tried—what am I missing?”
Ask:
- Why do you think this worked?
- Would this still work if [X variable] changed?
- What do you wish you’d done earlier?
And most importantly, don’t just collect advice. Apply it. See what breaks. Then ask again.
Final Thought: Asking Is Not a Shortcut—It’s the Work
Success isn’t about proving you can do it alone. It’s about finding the smartest way through. The people who move fastest aren’t necessarily the most gifted. They’re the ones who learned to ask, learned to filter, and learned to listen.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:
Stop trying to be a hero. Start asking better questions.
And then get to work.