Don’t start your personal statement with a quote. Seriously, don’t. Begin with something attention grabbing. Tell them about that time you swam with the penguins in the Arctic, or that super-profitable business you created back in high school. Grab your reader.
A couple of years ago, I helped a friend write a personal statement for her dream internship. She got it. She defied the odds, beating out over 200 applicants. I figured it was a fluke. It probably was a fluke. But that didn’t matter. I sincerely enjoyed helping her reach that goal. And I still enjoy that feeling.
Around Christmas 2016, I rekindled those emotions. I took on my first law school application client, and together, we built a genuine, attention-grabbing personal statement. John, as we’ll call him, was admitted to Harvard Law School. He could not have been more excited, and I could not have been more happy for him. A month later, I helped another client get admitted with full scholarships to Cardozo and Brooklyn Law.
For both applicants, English was their second language, so writing a personal statement was a struggle. But they persevered, and their results speak for themselves.
Great. I helped a couple of people get into law school. Why does that matter to you? It doesn’t. What does matter is the advice to follow. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will share with you four tips and a couple of tricks for improving your personal statement.
Let’s jump right in.
Tip #1: Paint a Picture
“It was 2007, and I was not ready. My heart was racing. The screams in the distance had faded into the background and my best friend’s excitement was moving in slow motion. I couldn’t hear myself think. But I wasn’t about to turn back. After waiting in line for three hours, it was finally my turn. I walked through the turnstile, boarded the creaky ride, and closed my eyes. I was fifteen, and this was my first roller coaster experience.”
When writing a personal statement, it’s important to be as vivid as possible. You want your reader to invest emotionally in your story. And for that to happen, she must be able to picture your experience. In this example, the reader can picture you super nervous to the point that everything around you slowed down. It faded away. But why were you so nervous? Ah, you’re about to board your first roller coaster. And then the story continued down that path.
That is what you want to do with your personal statement. If the reader doesn’t enter your mind, how are you going to stand out? If she doesn’t feel how you feel, how is she going to emotionally invest in your story?
It’s not simple, but with practice, you will improve. Try journaling daily, or at least weekly. Be vivid with your details and your reader will be vivid with their emotions.
tl;dr: Tell your story in vivid detail so your reader becomes invested in you.
Tip #2: Use Simple Language
Most students believe that using complex words makes their writing read better. While that may be true for dissertations, it’s not the case here.
Only use language you’d understand in routine conversation. And definitely don’t use a thesaurus for every word. Your goal is to keep the reader’s interest. If they don’t understand even 5% of the words in your statement, they will lose that interest.
Keep your language clear, keep your reader. It’s that simple.
tl;dr: Don’t use words you wouldn’t use in regular conversation.
Tip #3: Vary Your Sentence Structure
This one is simple. It’s easy. It will be very clear. I will tell you what to do. You will do it. It will make sense. You’ll love it.
I cringed just writing that. I hope you did, too.
I purposely didn’t vary my sentence structure to overemphasize my point. If you don’t vary between simple, compound, and complex sentences, you will sound monotone. You will bore your reader.
Remember, keeping your reader interested is key.
Next time you write anything, proofread closely for signs of repetitive structure, and fix it. You’ll improve quite quickly.
tl;dr: Use a good mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to keep your personal statement from sounding monotone.
Tip #4: Be Concise
This one is straightforward: don’t write a novel. Make your point with the fewest words possible. But remember, use enough detail to pull your reader in. The trick is to avoid using the same detail twice.
Don’t write about various aspects of a unique painting and then tell the reader it was beautiful. Its uniqueness makes that clear.
Practice this in your daily or weekly journal. It will be tough, but this skill can be improved.
tl;dr: Tell your story with the fewest words possible, but don’t sacrifice necessary detail.
That’s it! Feel free to comment with any questions.
